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The best way to help someone make a positive change as perceived by them and not your bias would be to get to know them as friends, and then figure out what they really want, and then see how what they're saying relates to that thing they want. If you're not being evil, you will come out successfully.
The way that you can avoid the most heartache is to be completely honest and to both be trying to make sure the other gets what they deserve fully. And is involved in that process. In concept and in goal. As my friend, you want me to find the perfect person for myself, and that you are interested in understanding how that is.
My conception of friendship: You have to make sure you know the other is a good person in your eyes.
It's so important to share importance with the people you're around, unless they are bringing you down.
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